Paranoia: First Blood

THE CAST

Ed-R-MRO-1          O*llie    (O)  HPD & MC   Registered Mutant
Steve-R-STN-1       P*aul     (P)  Tech       Medium Build
Mick-R-THY-1        M*att     (M)  "Internal Security, no just joking, HPD"
Handy looking
Jerry-R-IGG-1       J*ohn     (J)  R&D        Tall
Wanda-R-FUL-1       D*ave     (D)  CPU        Sexy?
Butch-R-BLK-1       R*ich     (R)  HPD        Brawny

Grund-G-GUY-3       Your trustworthy, loyal, bullying, obnoxious, sadistic
leader

Lubi GSV-1     Infra-Red Big, dumb and unethusiastic
Mani GSV-3     Infra-Red Average looking, attentive, intelligent
Paul GSV-1     Infra-Red Small, dumb and unethusiastic

Docbot         KLL-V.FGS.5-11      Pleasant, cheerful and blood-stained
Surgical Chainsaw
Jackbot   Model 360      Sarcastic, Contemptuous of Humans


Episode Zero - Arriving

Each newly promoted to Red Troubleshooter and presented with your red overalls,
red reflec armour, laser pistol with red barrel and a cupboard-sized room of
your own, you are delighted to be called to serve your friend, The Computer, in
your first mission.

Arriving in the communications room in a variety of states of exhaustion, loyal
toubleshooters inspect each other and begin carrying out important tasks
(polishing the computer terminal - Mick-R-THY-1 (M)).  The comms system
generates a mission briefing for each stand-up citizen of Alpha Complex, telling
you to report to briefing room IOGC (with a handy-sized map) for briefing on a
secret mission to OUTDOORS sector.

Loyal troubleshooters leave the room to find their mittens, only to remember
that they are carrying everything they own and don't have any mittens.
Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D) leaves the group and heads down the corridor.
Incompetent troubleshooters find they cannot read the map.  They request  the
location of the room from the computer:
"What is your security clearance?..........Red?........I'm sorry, that
information is not available at this time.
Ten minutes later the loyal troubleshooters are evicted from the room by a very
rude (but important and therefore excuseable) Green level troubleshooter.

The group heads to HPD & MC to request a larger map.  Mick-R-THY-1 (M)'s boss
(Bos-Y-BTS-2) is noteably unenthusiastic about the arrival of an R&D and Tech
troubleshooter in his section, they are ushered out.  He is however very keen to
see the top-secret mission briefing and under pressure to reveal it to him both
Butch-R-BLK-1 (R) and Mick-R-THY-1 (M) eat their briefings.  They are pursued
from the room by yellow laser fire after Bos-Y-BTS-2 determines that the
Infra-Reds who work for him have seen Mick-R-THY-1 (M) draw his laser and shoot
at him.  Mick-R-THY-1 (M) is ordered to throw up the briefing material, but it
is partially digested and useless.
Ed-R-MRO-1 (O) talks with Bos-Y-BTS-2 and disappears into a back room with him,
meanwhile Jerry-R-IGG-1 (J) sneaks in and looks at some maps.  Ed-R-MRO-1 (O)
returns with a larger map which shows the location of room IOGC.

Episode One - The Briefing

The group arrives at the room with Mick-R-THY-1 (M) lingering at the back and
when he sees the group stop he disappears back the way hes come.  Wanda-R-FUL-1
(D) appears sporting a flash new Red Trenchcoat and solid-looking boots.  The
Flash-Gordon style Violet guards usher the group into the room and along a red
line within a pit which has troughs running away from it into either wall.  Four
violet guards are within the room and in front of you is a bench from which four
shadowy figures peer down.  Peter-I-TOL-4 introduces himself and the mission to
OUTDOORS sector.  He also states the requirement for the group to go to PLC for
outfitting, R&D to pick up equipment for testing, a revolutionary new vehicle
designed specifically for the mission and a remarkable new Team Communications
system.  The requirements for the mission OUTSIDE are location and recovery of
missing troubleshooters from a previous mission (and their valuable equipment)
and each to prepare a report on the status of OUTDOORS sector.

The group are then given the opportunity to ask detailed questions on the
mission from Int-Sec representative Ness-Y-LOX-3 and R&D specialist Dr.
Num-O-NTS-5.  Ness-Y loyally questions the troubleshooters about their
motivations and loyalties on behalf of your pal, The Computer.  After some
concerning answers the treasonous thoughts of Butch-R-BLK-1 (R) are clearly seen
(and backed up by security tapes) as he questions Ness-Y's loyalty and accuses
him of stupidity.  Jerry-R-IGG-1 (J)'s defence of this obvious traitor
demonstrates that he is obviously in cahoots with this traitor.  Loyal
troubleshooters are asked to leave the room while these traitors are
comprehensively debriefed.

Mick-R-THY-1 (M) has arrived outside but finds his entry barred by loyal violet
level guards.  He is allowed into the room but it is assessed by your infallible
superiors that his tardiness and inefficiency would endanger the mission and he
is "retired".
The loyal troubleshooters enter the room to be informed that Butch-R-BLK-1 (R)
and Jerry-R-IGG-1 (J) have been "reassigned".  Loyal troubleshooters of
unquestionable loyalty have been allocated to the mission to replace these
traitorous swine.  The look familiar.  They are Jerry-R-IGG-2 (J), Butch-R-BLK-2
(R) and Mick-R-THY-2 (M).

Ness-Y is presented with few questions about the mission.  Num-O is asked none.
The group are passed to the trustworthy group leader Grund-G-GUY and commanded
to leave the room.

Episode Two - PLC

Grund-G quickly ephasises the importance to the group of keeping him alive.  If
they don't, he will drill them.  He asks for a volunteer and Butch-R-BLK-2 (R)
comes forward.  He takes him away for a private briefing.

Grund-G takes the group to "HND & MC Temporaries", an office, and says he will
be back in a minute.  15 minutes later he returns with the three Infra-Reds who
will help the group on the mission.

On arrival at PLC the group are met by surly PLC clerk Meg-O-FUN-2, backed up by
19 other clerks engaged in loyal activity serving the computer.  Five red-level
guards lounge around the room looking bored.  They brighten up with the arrival
of the troubleshooters and the possibility of action.

At PLC the group are given a rosta of items to sign for.  Grund-G requests that
all troubleshooters sign for the items.  There are numerous traitorous
demonstrations of reluctance are eased away by virtue of Grund-G's loyalty and
large Green-clearance laser rifle.  The exception is the treasonous Mick-R-THY-2
(M), who refuses to sign.  Grund-G registers Mick-R's on charges on treason and
insubordination and is given authority to carry out immediate termination.
Grund-G opens fire (his laser cutting through Mick-R's red reflec) and orders
the rest of the room to comply.  Mick-R-THY-2 (M) disappears in a laser light
show.

Vigilant troubleshooter Steve-R-STN-1 (P) spots the treasonous items tacked onto
the mission list.  Chaos ensues during which Traitor PLC clerk Meg-O-FUN-2 is
executed by Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D), backed up by everyone else in the room.
Butch-R-BLK-2 (R), who has commited the traitorous crime of blackmail on
Meg-O-FUN-2 is also executed by group firing squad.  Ed-R-MRO-1 (O) (you can't
trust those traitorous registered mutants) is then executed by Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D)
via a personal Napalm shell followed up by a volley of laser fire from everyone
else.  He was guilty of misappropriating essential resources belonging to The
Computer from HPD & MC (a map).

Mick-R-THY-3 (M), Butch-R-BLK-3 (R) and Ed-R-MRO-2 (O) arrive.

Allocation of the equipment is completed and the DocBot and Jackbot arrive, both
noticeabley unethusiastic about joining the group.
Violet guards arrive and arrest Ed-R-MRO-1 (O)'s dead body and Ed-R-MRO-2 (O),
reading them their rights, "You have the right to be subjected to ruthless
interrogation, you have the right to be terminated....".  Ed-R-MRO-2 (O) has
commited the treasonous crime of blackmail against a loyal troubleshooter,
Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D).  The guards present Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D) with commendations for
the successful unearthing and termination/grassing up of three traitors.

Butch-R-BLK-3 (R)'s detective work has determined that loyal troubleshooter
Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D) possesses a trenchcoat the purchase of which was not
unauthorised.  The suspicious murder of a PLC outfitting clerk with slugs that
match Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D)'s slugthrower is also taken into account.
Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D) breaks under questioning from Butch-R-BLK-3 (R) and fires off
a shot at him, which misses.  The evil traitor then makes a run for it, but does
not get far as troubleshooters loyal to their mate, The Computer, eagerly gun
him down.  Ed-R-MRO-3 (O) arrives to join the group and is equipped with items
from Wanda-R-FUL-1 (D)'s body.

Episode 3 - A visit to Research & Design

Grund-G leads the rather larger group away from PLC and to a solid looking blast
door.  Wanda-R-FUL-2 (D) arrives.  They enter a 9m x 6m room with a bench all
round the sides.  This in fact a super efficient transportation vehicle which
will take the group to the R&D facility (which is located a long distance away
from the main working and living parts of Alpha Complex, for some reason).
Troubleshooters who are sat on the same side as Grund-G fair well as it abruptly
speeds up to A SIZEABLE FRACTION OF THE SPEED OF LIGHT, but others, namely
Butch-R-BLK-3 (R), Steve-R-STN-1 (P) and Ed-R-MRO-3 (O) do not fair so well as
they fly across the room and collide with the opposite wall.  Butch-R-BLK-3 (R)
impacts head first and is killed on impact, Steve-R-STN-1 (P) receives a broken
arm and Ed-R-MRO-3 (O) receives a broken leg.  Wanda-R-FUL-2 (D) and Mani
receive minor knocks.  The Docbot and Jackbot collide with the wall but seem
unaffected.  Mick-R-THY-3 (M) is bruised by one of the Jackbot's arms hitting
his leg.

Grund-G stolls across the room and sits down on the other side.  Troubleshooters
scramble/crawl/drag themselves to follow.  Loyal troubleshooters help the
wounded across, Mick-R-THY-3 (M) commands Lubi to drag Ed-R-MRO-3 (O)'s
screaming body across.  Butch-R-BLK-3 (R)'s body doesn't mind the second impact.

The group exits the lift at the entrance to R&D.  Butch-R-BLK-4 (R) arrives and
equips himself with Butch-R-BLK-3 (R)'s items.  The Computer issues
commendations to Butch-R-BLK-3 (R) and Steve-R-STN-1 (P) for their vigilance on
behalf of The Computer.  Commendations for clones who later emerged as traitors
have been shredded.

Thats it for this week, friends of The Computer.  See you next week for more
loyalty-orientated fun.

The Computer